Thing is babe, others will not have thought about it deeply. At a societal level, it isn't thought about at all. THere is one model for relationships, and that is it. Hell, we dont even have a word for more than one partner. I think the frustration for you is that what seems so simple and logical will be outside the lexicon of many peoples thinking.
Yes, you are a considerate person. You know that I think in some ways,m in the past, you have been way to considerate, putting other peoples needs so far ahead of your own that I think it has had a real impact on your happiness. Still, I know you will not see this, and tell me it was all good in the long run.
Now, get over here and on the end of my dick.
And by the way, Ill be in AKL 21-26 April. Can we catch up? You don't even have to promise 'casual' sex.