ext_238585 ([identity profile] whiskerfish.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] growler_south 2005-06-04 11:41 am (UTC)

{{{{{Belly rub}}}}}

It sounds like seasonal affective disorder can be quite serious in NZ. Do the days get really short there in addition to all the precipitation?

I hate to see you sad like this.

I wish I could separate all the lonely out of your life. Anything is tolerable as long as one doesn't have lonely to intensify all the negativity. To me, it seems like it layers in just enough desperation into everything one does to make it all seem futile.

I know, as well as you, that this will pass and from it you'll extract some lovely gem of knowledge and strength.

In the midst of my most recent lowest low I had two seemingly innocuous things act as a springboard. First, came the fortune cookie (I know this sounds laughable). The fortune read: "You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier." For some reason, I took it to heart. Second, was a brief correspondence with a buddy of mine in Toronto. Essentially, he gave me a verbal beatdown. He wasn't being mean or hurtful, I could tell that he had my best interest in mind. However, he wasn't giving me a warm, fuzzy hug either. It was kind of like the pep talk a good coach would give a team that getting their asses kicked. Firm, no nonsense and perhaps delivered like a drill sargeant.
You know the way something can just click in your head to make you sad? Those two things made something in my head click to make me happy, and I know that it'll happen to you.

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