Update:

The laundry is on, bed made, and there's a chunk of McLettuce under the 'H' key, taunting me through the translucent plastic. Yes, I resisted KFC... and went to McDonalds instead.

Right now my belly is full, and my throat feels like I swallowed a tub of crisco. Where's that horse-hung daddy when you need him? Urgh.

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