but as a gay man I cannot imagine why I would ever WANT to have a scantily clad woman rub herself against me.

Oh, trust me, you don't. It's weird.

Except... maybe you should try it just once to be sure. The only reason it was amusing is that a giggling evil bastard (baerenjagd) initiated it at the promptings of another sniggering evil bastard (growler_south) and it's good to know they care enough to put me in humorous and uncomfortable situations.