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Dec. 4th, 2003 09:40 amWell I havent heard from Taz for a few days, so I presume he's given in to the hate response and wants nothing more to do with me. Which is a relief, it will make the breakup much easier for him. 'Easier' being a relative term, nothing this complex is ever easy.
I had intended to write about some of the specifics of our breakup, but as time passes the details seem less important. My decision to leave, and stay left, may have been triggered by one or two specific events, but the reasons are deep-seated and valid.
Im still convinced that Ive done the right thing, despite the selfish motivation. Somehow I had let Taz' depression and addiction take over my life, had let the love we had turn into a dependancy rather than a partnership.
Im not even going to delve into the complex issue of manipulation and dependancy. Suffice to say that Im aware that I allowed myself to be manipulated, and that my realisation of that was what really ended it for me. Taz and I are not good for each other- He needs more than I can give, and all the giving just about wore me out.
Live and learn I guess. Im going to be resolutely single for a while (Note to sexy bears reading this- SINGLE not CELIBATE!!) and if/when Mr Right comes along Im going to be a lot more interested in getting to know him than moving in with him.
I had intended to write about some of the specifics of our breakup, but as time passes the details seem less important. My decision to leave, and stay left, may have been triggered by one or two specific events, but the reasons are deep-seated and valid.
Im still convinced that Ive done the right thing, despite the selfish motivation. Somehow I had let Taz' depression and addiction take over my life, had let the love we had turn into a dependancy rather than a partnership.
Im not even going to delve into the complex issue of manipulation and dependancy. Suffice to say that Im aware that I allowed myself to be manipulated, and that my realisation of that was what really ended it for me. Taz and I are not good for each other- He needs more than I can give, and all the giving just about wore me out.
Live and learn I guess. Im going to be resolutely single for a while (Note to sexy bears reading this- SINGLE not CELIBATE!!) and if/when Mr Right comes along Im going to be a lot more interested in getting to know him than moving in with him.
