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Knickers knickers knickers!
Oct. 24th, 2005 04:29 pmLast night was Urge's infamous underwear party, and yours truly was roped in to work the back door. Sweet job! I thought, until I remembered that the back door was where everyone came in. My task was initially to hand out the plastic baggies the punters needed for coat check, complete with patter
Patter: "Hi guys! Underwear night. This bag is for your clothes, this small one is your new purse. Put your money and cards and anything else you need into the small one. When you hand in your bag of clothes, the coat check man will write the same number on both bags, making the small bag your coat check ticket. Get changed in the red light area, then aim for the blue light. Have fun guys!"
At one stage I had an important phone call from Erich (You silly moose. I could SO spank you, and then just hug you tight) so sweet Paul (Squirtybear), who had been standing with me and chatting and helping to welcome everyone with this big muscles and small underwear (wooof!), took over for a few minutes. He had the lines memorised perfectly.
The night went on and people just didnt stop arriving. At 10pm there were 50 people. At 11 there were 90. Midnight, we had 120 and for anyone who knows Urge, thats absolute chaos. Cram-packed chaos. Capacity. My role sudenly swiched from being happy greeter to firm but apologetic bouncer. With patter, of course.
Patter: "Hi guys! Sorry, but we're completely full, totally at capacity and as much as I'd love to let you in, we're going to have to wait for someone to leave."
All this while there is a steady flow of underclad gents going out to smoke in the carpark and coming back in. I got very good at spotting people new people- ones who thought that by getting naked in the carpark first they could sneak past me. The hint was that when they walked towards me they didnt ahve a drink in their hand.
There was one incident, one scrawny queen who whined that it was cold and his flatmate was waiting for him inside. I said "Hang on, I'll just ask the guys in charge of this door and see what I can do", raised my voice to the queue of waiting gentlemen he had just shoved his way through, and said "Hey guys, he says his flatmate is waiting for him inside and he's cold. Are you ok for him to come inside first?" Of course there was a loud and emphatic "No!", the lad was returned to his place in the queue, and I was the good guy all round.
Of course the skinny queen sneaked in later while I was dealing with another guest. Ran round behind me. The queue rumbled like thunder- but I wasnt worried. He had no bag to put his clothes in so coat check realised he'd sneaked in and wouldnt serve him, as he was clothed the barmen refused to serve him (and when he turned up naked but carrying his clothes they still refused) and so he had to go back to the door and face the unhappy mob.
In the end I was there until the last guest left at 6am, then helped clean up (well, ok so I kinda had a few drinks and a sit-down while attempting to retain enough focus to clean up) and made it to bed at 7.30. And yes, its true what happens after the doors close at 5am. Dirty, dirty bears. ;-)
Now to have a shower, clean up the bottles at the bar, and go visit Paul and David before they head off on their big tour of the US tomorrow..
Patter: "Hi guys! Underwear night. This bag is for your clothes, this small one is your new purse. Put your money and cards and anything else you need into the small one. When you hand in your bag of clothes, the coat check man will write the same number on both bags, making the small bag your coat check ticket. Get changed in the red light area, then aim for the blue light. Have fun guys!"
At one stage I had an important phone call from Erich (You silly moose. I could SO spank you, and then just hug you tight) so sweet Paul (Squirtybear), who had been standing with me and chatting and helping to welcome everyone with this big muscles and small underwear (wooof!), took over for a few minutes. He had the lines memorised perfectly.
The night went on and people just didnt stop arriving. At 10pm there were 50 people. At 11 there were 90. Midnight, we had 120 and for anyone who knows Urge, thats absolute chaos. Cram-packed chaos. Capacity. My role sudenly swiched from being happy greeter to firm but apologetic bouncer. With patter, of course.
Patter: "Hi guys! Sorry, but we're completely full, totally at capacity and as much as I'd love to let you in, we're going to have to wait for someone to leave."
All this while there is a steady flow of underclad gents going out to smoke in the carpark and coming back in. I got very good at spotting people new people- ones who thought that by getting naked in the carpark first they could sneak past me. The hint was that when they walked towards me they didnt ahve a drink in their hand.
There was one incident, one scrawny queen who whined that it was cold and his flatmate was waiting for him inside. I said "Hang on, I'll just ask the guys in charge of this door and see what I can do", raised my voice to the queue of waiting gentlemen he had just shoved his way through, and said "Hey guys, he says his flatmate is waiting for him inside and he's cold. Are you ok for him to come inside first?" Of course there was a loud and emphatic "No!", the lad was returned to his place in the queue, and I was the good guy all round.
Of course the skinny queen sneaked in later while I was dealing with another guest. Ran round behind me. The queue rumbled like thunder- but I wasnt worried. He had no bag to put his clothes in so coat check realised he'd sneaked in and wouldnt serve him, as he was clothed the barmen refused to serve him (and when he turned up naked but carrying his clothes they still refused) and so he had to go back to the door and face the unhappy mob.
In the end I was there until the last guest left at 6am, then helped clean up (well, ok so I kinda had a few drinks and a sit-down while attempting to retain enough focus to clean up) and made it to bed at 7.30. And yes, its true what happens after the doors close at 5am. Dirty, dirty bears. ;-)
Now to have a shower, clean up the bottles at the bar, and go visit Paul and David before they head off on their big tour of the US tomorrow..
