(no subject)

Last night I had breasts in my face. Large, round, perky ones with pierced nipples (but nothing as hideous as Janet's, thank god). I was behind the bar, turned and dropped to grab a beer from the fridge, and ended up occupying the same space as the lady stripper who was reaching behind the bar for her handbag. Paul and Scotty saw it all and were momentarily horrified. And then they laughed. Bastards. I had *nipples* in my *ears*!!! Aiee!!

The lovely lady was at the bar because we were hosting a magazine launch: an art magazine featuring 200 pages of naked men. Or boys, really, since they were all 20ish, smooth, and had floppy hair. It took me a while to realise that there was more than one model. It's awful to say, but all these twinks look the same to me. It was never explained to me why they had a female stripper there, but I like to think it was so no-one could claim it was a gay magazine, though of course when you're printing a giant glossy mag full of naked lads it's a given that the bulk of your print run is going to end up in very clean, colour coordinated bathrooms in Ponsonby and St Mary's Bay. Bathrooms that have rarely seen naked ladybreasts, especially up close.

(no subject)

Brian and I are cooking for the Bears BBQ tomorrow- there's a lot of food, I'm hoping more people contact me tonight to let me know they're coming or we're all going to be fat bears.

Beef Burgers
Buffalo chicken
Prawn salad
Potato salad
Green Bean salad
Coleslaw
Peanut butter icecream cake

Brian made the coleslaw and helped with the rest- he's so handy around the kitchen (though he keeps saying he's not. I think it's an excuse to avoid having to cook)