I tried...
Oct. 9th, 2005 12:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
growler_southI really did.
Damn horny, arrived early, friendly bar run by my best mates, lots of dutch courage, I even forced myself to chat to strangers at the bar.
But once it got busy, once the sexy studs started arriving with their dark beards and smouldering looks, I lost my nerve. As usual. And fled the bar, waiting taxi, straight home, past cars I recognised, friends I wanted to see, who had arrived as I ran.
Why do i do this to myself? why do I even bother trying? I'm happy with thoughts of my Erich, with time alone, with work and social outings with my friends. Why do i keep thinking that casual sex would be fun? I mean, casual sex *would* be fun, if I could get past my nervousness. But it appears i cant do that- so why keep trying?
I should just admit defeat and become a hermit again. Until the day I move to Alaska.
Some days I just hate being me. And I'm still horny. but dont worry, a couple hours pitiful sobbing will fix that.
Damn horny, arrived early, friendly bar run by my best mates, lots of dutch courage, I even forced myself to chat to strangers at the bar.
But once it got busy, once the sexy studs started arriving with their dark beards and smouldering looks, I lost my nerve. As usual. And fled the bar, waiting taxi, straight home, past cars I recognised, friends I wanted to see, who had arrived as I ran.
Why do i do this to myself? why do I even bother trying? I'm happy with thoughts of my Erich, with time alone, with work and social outings with my friends. Why do i keep thinking that casual sex would be fun? I mean, casual sex *would* be fun, if I could get past my nervousness. But it appears i cant do that- so why keep trying?
I should just admit defeat and become a hermit again. Until the day I move to Alaska.
Some days I just hate being me. And I'm still horny. but dont worry, a couple hours pitiful sobbing will fix that.
