I tried...

[growler_south]

I really did.

Damn horny, arrived early, friendly bar run by my best mates, lots of dutch courage, I even forced myself to chat to strangers at the bar.

But once it got busy, once the sexy studs started arriving with their dark beards and smouldering looks, I lost my nerve. As usual. And fled the bar, waiting taxi, straight home, past cars I recognised, friends I wanted to see, who had arrived as I ran.

Why do i do this to myself? why do I even bother trying? I'm happy with thoughts of my Erich, with time alone, with work and social outings with my friends. Why do i keep thinking that casual sex would be fun? I mean, casual sex *would* be fun, if I could get past my nervousness. But it appears i cant do that- so why keep trying?

I should just admit defeat and become a hermit again. Until the day I move to Alaska.

Some days I just hate being me. And I'm still horny. but dont worry, a couple hours pitiful sobbing will fix that.

Comments

[boofbiker.livejournal.com]

I know a few other people in your shoes right now. If you need a chat you know my number!

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

And I used it... thankyou for talkig last night mister, you made me feel heaps better. I just need to learn not to make the same mistakes over and over...

[boofbiker.livejournal.com]

I didnt think I helped at all. After you hung up I thought shit I was useless. Glad to hear i wasnt.