growler_south (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
growler_south) wrote2006-10-05 10:23 am
growler_south) wrote2006-10-05 10:23 am
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Imagine, if you will, a short, hairy, slightly podgy bloke in his underpants. Someone who looks a lot like me, last night. Now imagine him reclining on a big leather sofa watching TV. He's got an industrial sized bag of corn chips and is munching them by the handful, washing them down with swigs of coke. He channel surfs, occasionally stopping to scratch his nuts or scrape the grease out from under his fingernails. It's a disgusting, compelling display of redneck indulgence, and it's being played out before your eyes. (Hey, I have the flat to myself, I can watch TV in my undies if I want)
You can see this clearly, because he's forgotten to shut the venetian blinds, and as long as you stand here with the lights of your own lounge turned off, he's not going to notice you watching him from across the courtyard.
Without warning, though, disaster strikes. Precisely as his eyes flick to the window and he notices that his blinds are open, your boyfriend walks into the lounge where you are and turns on the light. Suddenly you're staring eye-to-eye across the courtyard at very surprised short hairy bloke in his underwear. What do you do?
A) Grin and wave cheekily
B) Run away
C) Panic, lunge for the cord which closes your own blinds, losing your balance in the process, grab for the blinds which buckle and come crashing down on your head, fall to floor, get up again, run to light switch, glare at surprised but helplessly laughing boyfriend and turn off light.
She took option C)
Update for the confused: my neighbour was watching me last night, confident that she wouldn't be caught (or possibly transfixed by the horror). I have never, ever laughed so hard in my life, nor do I want to again. It still hurts to breathe.
You can see this clearly, because he's forgotten to shut the venetian blinds, and as long as you stand here with the lights of your own lounge turned off, he's not going to notice you watching him from across the courtyard.
Without warning, though, disaster strikes. Precisely as his eyes flick to the window and he notices that his blinds are open, your boyfriend walks into the lounge where you are and turns on the light. Suddenly you're staring eye-to-eye across the courtyard at very surprised short hairy bloke in his underwear. What do you do?
A) Grin and wave cheekily
B) Run away
C) Panic, lunge for the cord which closes your own blinds, losing your balance in the process, grab for the blinds which buckle and come crashing down on your head, fall to floor, get up again, run to light switch, glare at surprised but helplessly laughing boyfriend and turn off light.
She took option C)
Update for the confused: my neighbour was watching me last night, confident that she wouldn't be caught (or possibly transfixed by the horror). I have never, ever laughed so hard in my life, nor do I want to again. It still hurts to breathe.
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Oh gods... (LMAO)
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Caught with your eyes on the cookie jar--again?!?
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I blame the painkillers...
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Time for the leeches...
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You take a small bowl, put some chips in that, and leave the bag - however full it is - in the kitchen. If you want more chips, you then have to make the decision to actually GET UP and trek to the kitchen for more. ;)
It's amazing how much difference that one little thing can make to keep "slightly podgy" from turning into "roly-poly." ;)
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:-)
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Ooooo...
Hurray...
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Grant, that was screamingly funny - cheers for sharing!