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growler_southWhile I was on holiday I had a lot of time to think about where I am, and where I'm headed. I surprised myself to find that, despite the recent dramas (and, perhaps, because of them) I'm in the most wonderful space.
Most importantly, I'm ME again. Happy, friendly, chirpy irrepressable me. My happiness is not reliant on anyone but myself, and I'm really comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more love now than ever before. I have many wonderful, loving and caring friends who I love dearly, and who love me right back. Its a fluid thing, for sure, but its far more agreeable than the paranoid love of a jealous partner. I perhaps put a bit much pressure on R and M and sometimes allow myself to daydream off to polyamoury-land, but thats for the future to decide and I'm in no hurry.
I dont have a whole heap of the overpriced and mass-produced goods we put so much stock in. Even the jacket that R gave me, the loss of which upset me so much, isnt important (the precious thing was that R trusted me enough to give me jacket in the first place- and thats still as precious whether I have the jacket itself or not) The whole point being that I can move fast, im not missing any of the stuff any more, and im now protecting the things that really matter (all the data I lost)
I know where I want to be in 30 years time. I want a house in my hometown of Karangahake and enough land to turn into a bush retreat. At todays prices I'm looking at $250k. In 30 years time, who knows? Karangahake is a rocky gorge with bush-covered hills and very little flat space to build new houses- its close to town and absolutely gorgeous. I predict prices will skyrocket- so I'm going to buy in 5 years time when I've saved enough to make a mortgage manageable. I'll probably rent it out but keep a room for myself and stay there on weekends- then I can build a big workshop and restart my classic car obsession.
Restart? Yup, no more cars till I have a house.
Im willing to sacrifice the things I enjoy for a while to make this dream achievable- no more living on my own ($400/week rent and bills is SICK) no more workshop and new cars.
Im taking a month to clear out my workshop, sell off all the spare parts for cars I no longer own, sell off the spare furniture, and then I'll move into a flat with lovely people and very little rent... and start saving rather than spending.
Most importantly, I'm ME again. Happy, friendly, chirpy irrepressable me. My happiness is not reliant on anyone but myself, and I'm really comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more love now than ever before. I have many wonderful, loving and caring friends who I love dearly, and who love me right back. Its a fluid thing, for sure, but its far more agreeable than the paranoid love of a jealous partner. I perhaps put a bit much pressure on R and M and sometimes allow myself to daydream off to polyamoury-land, but thats for the future to decide and I'm in no hurry.
I dont have a whole heap of the overpriced and mass-produced goods we put so much stock in. Even the jacket that R gave me, the loss of which upset me so much, isnt important (the precious thing was that R trusted me enough to give me jacket in the first place- and thats still as precious whether I have the jacket itself or not) The whole point being that I can move fast, im not missing any of the stuff any more, and im now protecting the things that really matter (all the data I lost)
I know where I want to be in 30 years time. I want a house in my hometown of Karangahake and enough land to turn into a bush retreat. At todays prices I'm looking at $250k. In 30 years time, who knows? Karangahake is a rocky gorge with bush-covered hills and very little flat space to build new houses- its close to town and absolutely gorgeous. I predict prices will skyrocket- so I'm going to buy in 5 years time when I've saved enough to make a mortgage manageable. I'll probably rent it out but keep a room for myself and stay there on weekends- then I can build a big workshop and restart my classic car obsession.
Restart? Yup, no more cars till I have a house.
Im willing to sacrifice the things I enjoy for a while to make this dream achievable- no more living on my own ($400/week rent and bills is SICK) no more workshop and new cars.
Im taking a month to clear out my workshop, sell off all the spare parts for cars I no longer own, sell off the spare furniture, and then I'll move into a flat with lovely people and very little rent... and start saving rather than spending.
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