Sadistic

[growler_south]

Everyone sing along:

I'm an asshole!
he's an asshole!
he's an asshole!
ye-o ye-o!

Is it irrational of me to dislike Porsches or, more precisely, the stereotypical mid-life crisis victim who buys a red convertible even though he doesnt know how to drive properly?

'Properly' is subjective of course, but there are a few fundamental skills, like the hill-start. If you were in stop-start traffic heading up a long, steep hill you *should* be able to start moving without abruptly rolling back 3 feet every time you set off, especially if you were driving a brand-spankin new red Porsche convertible with shiny, clean, un-marked red bumpers. For example.

Then again, what sort of sadistic asshole would notice your inability to drive and *deliberately* stop their car 1.5 feet from your rear bumper? Twice? What's wrong with a person like that? Dont they value their own car?

Or do they merely have 3 spare Piazza bumpers at home and an irrational dislike of Porsches with formerly-unmarked bumpers?

After he rolled back into me *twice*, my Isuzu's hard plastic bumpers had indeed made a satisfyingly flat and nasty black mark on his rear bumper. The first time he waved somewhat apologetically, the second time he whipped his head around, intending to glare at me for stopping too close behind his I-cant-drive-for-shit ass (I think he figured out I was doing it on purpose) but he suddenly decided *not* to get belligerent with the bearded skinhead in dark glasses, and his annoyed expression turned to apology...

Comments

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I don't know what the stats are like in NZ, but here in the US, sales of manual shift cars is down to like 10%. I think it's rather obscene, and were I Emperor of the USA, one of the mandates involved in the much more difficult driver's license examination would be that the prospective driver would have to pass the driving test in a manual transmission car. [My attitudes in this area were formed by my mother, who always preferred a stick shift and only bought an automatic in later years when the arthritis in her shoulder and elbow made the stick impractical - and even at that, she then referred to the new car as her "old lady car."]

Here in LA, lots of people buy cars like that for status and have no idea how to properly drive them. One time I was coming over the Cahuenga Pass from N. Hollywood in a drizzle, and on the straight bits some jackass in a Boxter was tailgating me. Then I hit a curvy part and happily (and safely) swooped through it in my Civic Coupe with its excellent Bridgestone Turanza tires. When I hit the next straight bit, the Boxter was not to be seen - until just before I hit the next section of curves. Now, I know Porsche puts good stock tires on a car like the Boxter, so the only explanation is the idjit simply didn't know how to drive properly.

I wish two things: that people who buy vehicles with automatic transmissions who don't have some physical problem with using a stick would be laughed at as wimpy twits, and that people going through their mid-life crisis would go back to sports cars from gigantic SUVs that they can't drive EITHER... but a Boxter (et. al.) is less likely to roll over and much less dangerous to everyone else on the road than a Chevy Subdivision or the like.

[smellykaka.livejournal.com]

Don't keep us in suspense. Did you fuck up the Porsche's bodywork or not? :)

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

You are evil. And he should just use the parking brake if he's that bad with the clutch.

My problem with those sorts of hills in SF is usually spinning the tires.

[beastbriskett.livejournal.com]

Yup. Truly EVIL. With frosting. >:D

[auxugen.livejournal.com]

I'm likin' you more and more! I can't tell you how many times I've envisioned such similar scenarios but never had the balls to pull it off. Or the car that I didn't get all prissy about and didn't want to get it all gakked up.

[boofbiker.livejournal.com]

Good thing you didnt have to get out off your car. he would have changed his mind from oh shit a beared skin head to... "oh how cute a miniture skinhead.... I want one I want one." hehehe. Sorry couldnt resist!

Was the Porsche driver on the hill that bends near your house on the way to your work??? I hope you marked a Boxster... I really dislike them!

I like your evil mind. It is the one thing I am attracted too... What does that say???