Sadistic

[growler_south]

Everyone sing along:

I'm an asshole!
he's an asshole!
he's an asshole!
ye-o ye-o!

Is it irrational of me to dislike Porsches or, more precisely, the stereotypical mid-life crisis victim who buys a red convertible even though he doesnt know how to drive properly?

'Properly' is subjective of course, but there are a few fundamental skills, like the hill-start. If you were in stop-start traffic heading up a long, steep hill you *should* be able to start moving without abruptly rolling back 3 feet every time you set off, especially if you were driving a brand-spankin new red Porsche convertible with shiny, clean, un-marked red bumpers. For example.

Then again, what sort of sadistic asshole would notice your inability to drive and *deliberately* stop their car 1.5 feet from your rear bumper? Twice? What's wrong with a person like that? Dont they value their own car?

Or do they merely have 3 spare Piazza bumpers at home and an irrational dislike of Porsches with formerly-unmarked bumpers?

After he rolled back into me *twice*, my Isuzu's hard plastic bumpers had indeed made a satisfyingly flat and nasty black mark on his rear bumper. The first time he waved somewhat apologetically, the second time he whipped his head around, intending to glare at me for stopping too close behind his I-cant-drive-for-shit ass (I think he figured out I was doing it on purpose) but he suddenly decided *not* to get belligerent with the bearded skinhead in dark glasses, and his annoyed expression turned to apology...

Comments

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I don't know what the stats are like in NZ, but here in the US, sales of manual shift cars is down to like 10%. I think it's rather obscene, and were I Emperor of the USA, one of the mandates involved in the much more difficult driver's license examination would be that the prospective driver would have to pass the driving test in a manual transmission car. [My attitudes in this area were formed by my mother, who always preferred a stick shift and only bought an automatic in later years when the arthritis in her shoulder and elbow made the stick impractical - and even at that, she then referred to the new car as her "old lady car."]

Here in LA, lots of people buy cars like that for status and have no idea how to properly drive them. One time I was coming over the Cahuenga Pass from N. Hollywood in a drizzle, and on the straight bits some jackass in a Boxter was tailgating me. Then I hit a curvy part and happily (and safely) swooped through it in my Civic Coupe with its excellent Bridgestone Turanza tires. When I hit the next straight bit, the Boxter was not to be seen - until just before I hit the next section of curves. Now, I know Porsche puts good stock tires on a car like the Boxter, so the only explanation is the idjit simply didn't know how to drive properly.

I wish two things: that people who buy vehicles with automatic transmissions who don't have some physical problem with using a stick would be laughed at as wimpy twits, and that people going through their mid-life crisis would go back to sports cars from gigantic SUVs that they can't drive EITHER... but a Boxter (et. al.) is less likely to roll over and much less dangerous to everyone else on the road than a Chevy Subdivision or the like.

[smellykaka.livejournal.com]

wish two things: that people who buy vehicles with automatic transmissions who don't have some physical problem with using a stick would be laughed at as wimpy twits

Think it's a pretty good idea that everyone should have to pass a licence test in a manual car (in NZ, if you take the test in an auto, you're only allowed to drive autos), but I don't see that I should look down on people with autos just because *I* hate driving them.

a Chevy Subdivision

Hahaha!

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

people who buy vehicles with automatic transmissions who don't have some physical problem with using a stick would be laughed at as wimpy twits

You've got to admit, an auto makes stop-start traffic less stressful, and is good for commuters. Bad for *everything* else, but good for commuters. :-)

[gregorbehr.livejournal.com]

Least we forget those who live in tiny cities built on HILLS!
My first two cars were stick, the second two.., lovely automatics, of which I'm greatful for each time I have take off from a hill stop sign that bill goats wouldn't dare climb.

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Sorry, let me add "good for commuters and people with palsy in their (otherwise attractive) legs

Think of it as exercise... ;-)

[gregorbehr.livejournal.com]

Bugger off! :)
When I'm going that 96 miles a day commute in a few months, in stop and go traffic, across a bridge with a SLOW toll booth, only to have to deal with street traffic and hills... I'll still be happy! :P

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Precisely! good for commuters like you. Surely you dont think I was suggesting you palsy in your legs? ;-))

As for steep streets, I have personally driven up Baldwin St, the steepest street in the world and I must say a hillstart was... interesting.

[gregorbehr.livejournal.com]

Funny, it doesn't look anywhere near as steep as the street "Big" lives on... and that street fucking scares me in my little Passat!

[musclebearnz.livejournal.com]

Oh..what a load of rubbish.... some cars are better as automatics than manuals, like grunty 300kw V8 Fords...

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

That's just because Ford cant make a manual gearbox that will take 300kW and you know it... Yes, a *good* auto is quicker to 100 than a manual, but thats about it. If autos really were 'better' then why dont they use them in race cars? Because they're 'better' for commuters and cripples, not for people who like to drive fast.

Nyah!

(loveyoumeanit)

[smellykaka.livejournal.com]

Don't keep us in suspense. Did you fuck up the Porsche's bodywork or not? :)

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

The rhetoric *was* a bit dense I guess- yes indeed, I dented his bad driving caused him to deform and mark his pretty bumper. No damage whatsoever to *my* truck-strength bumper.

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

How many times did he roll back go bonk?

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Twice :-) And then he pulled into a petrol station (presumably to see what damage he'd managed to do to his bumper)

I figured I had 3 spare bumpers, and didnt mind sacrificing one to demonstrate to him that he should really practice his hill-starts...

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

You are evil. And he should just use the parking brake if he's that bad with the clutch.

My problem with those sorts of hills in SF is usually spinning the tires.

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

Oh, good story in the same vein:

Was out driving to a bike ride with my friend Jason. We stop behind some old far at a light who had stopped too far out at the last second, then backed up. Stupid thing to do.

Old fart left his car in reverse. Jason didn't notice.

There's nobody behind us, so I tell Jason to back up. He slowly gets it. We lurch back about 20 feet and sit there. Old fart in his car looks confused, turns and stares at us, then shakes his head and turns back to the light.

Light turns green, old fart stomps it down and lurches backwards towards us, eating up most of that 20 ft before slamming to a halt. We begin laughing hysterically.

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh! standard hillstart practise, using the handbrake.

Spinning the wheels? must be a front-wheel drive...

[beastbriskett.livejournal.com]

Yup. Truly EVIL. With frosting. >:D

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Evil but *good* evil. All my car sustained was a slight rub on the black bumper, which polished out in 30 seconds. Good Isuzu. :-)

[auxugen.livejournal.com]

I'm likin' you more and more! I can't tell you how many times I've envisioned such similar scenarios but never had the balls to pull it off. Or the car that I didn't get all prissy about and didn't want to get it all gakked up.

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Oh I'm prissy alright, but I have mucho spare parts and can fit them myself in minutes. Unlike Mr I-love-my-car-but-can't-drive Porsche driver.

[auxugen.livejournal.com]

Well being able to actually take care of your car and replace the dings yourself makes a huge difference. Lately I'm lucky if I can remember to move mine before I get ticketed again!

Would I lose points if I said yours kinda looks like a little, mini DeLorean? It's cute! Wait... is 'cute' OK? How about 'cool'...

:-)

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Same designer- Giugiaro was developing a theme over the course of four designs: The '76 Sirocco, BMW M1, DeLorean, and finally Isuzu Impulse/Piazza.

Design pages here

[auxugen.livejournal.com]

That makes sense. I seem to have to his thing at times for Italian designs and designers... Never been into the mecahnics of it all the designs are so much better than the crap American designers eeked out.

[boofbiker.livejournal.com]

Good thing you didnt have to get out off your car. he would have changed his mind from oh shit a beared skin head to... "oh how cute a miniture skinhead.... I want one I want one." hehehe. Sorry couldnt resist!

Was the Porsche driver on the hill that bends near your house on the way to your work??? I hope you marked a Boxster... I really dislike them!

I like your evil mind. It is the one thing I am attracted too... What does that say???

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Grrr.r...