Dream diary: entry the first.
Aug. 2nd, 2005 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
growler_southI'm being stalked by a ginger cat. Wherever I go its just behind me, and it means me no good. I dont need to run to keep ahead of it, I just need to keep moving. This makes my daily tasks rather difficult.
The teacher brings us to an industrial area: part junkyard, part circus. There's a giant clear plastic tiered diving-board structure in the middle, with a rough metal ladder up one side and plexiglas diving boards at 2 metre intervals. In all, the structure is about 4 stories tall. The top diving board is for me, and I'm not amused. At least the cat (which has just appeared on the far side of the junkyard) wont be able to get me while I'm up there.
We're here to learn teleportation, but because we're just learning it will take the cooperation of the entire class to make it work. Teacher keeps stressing how important it is to be confident and not scared, but I'm not sure thats possible when you're standing on a tiny, transparent diving board 4 stories above a concrete floor.
I begin to climb the ladder, but about threequarters of the way up I look down- fuck it's a lot higher than I thought. I freeze, I cant move, I *wont* move. The teacher tries to talk me down, then gets angry and throws a bucket of water at me. The water makes my grip slip and, overcome with utter terror, I fall (in rather cheesy slow-motion, my editing brain remarks.). The ground approaches, but I hear the cat sigh. "You do it like *this*", he says, and I suddenly understand how to make myself not here. I'm instantly so calm and confident about it that I wait until my back is fractions of an inch from the ground, enjoying the horrified look on teacher's face, knowing that he's seeing my fall in real time not the crap slowmo I am.
And then I'm in acid flashback land. I had made myself disappear, but forgot to specify where I would *reappear* and so I'm here. So is the cat. This is the cat's flashback, not mine, but I'm a guest and he wants to show me something.
We're on top of a hill looking at a small shrub, a couple of thousand years ago. Blood sprinkles down onto the shrub like rain, but the shrub catches the drops so they dont hit the ground. The shrub starts to grow, twist and change until it has become an orange kitten. Kitten looks up at the bleeding man nailed to the cross above him...
and I remember that all I have to do is specify where I want to be, because right now I'm still in between. I choose to be at home, in bed, at once. Though, thinking about it now, it would have been amusing to choose somewhere different and see how my consciousness dealt with it. Alaska, for instance.
There's a rush, the vision warps and pinches in the middle (again, SUCH a crap effect, my brain thinks. That's just a photoshop radial blur.) and I wake up suddenly in bed. Its 5am.
Ok, so this is my brain on lack of sleep. Yikes! starring a big ginger cat, industrial magic, and a cameo by none other than Jesus himself. Clearly I havent been meditating enough lately, my subconscious is overflowing...
The teacher brings us to an industrial area: part junkyard, part circus. There's a giant clear plastic tiered diving-board structure in the middle, with a rough metal ladder up one side and plexiglas diving boards at 2 metre intervals. In all, the structure is about 4 stories tall. The top diving board is for me, and I'm not amused. At least the cat (which has just appeared on the far side of the junkyard) wont be able to get me while I'm up there.
We're here to learn teleportation, but because we're just learning it will take the cooperation of the entire class to make it work. Teacher keeps stressing how important it is to be confident and not scared, but I'm not sure thats possible when you're standing on a tiny, transparent diving board 4 stories above a concrete floor.
I begin to climb the ladder, but about threequarters of the way up I look down- fuck it's a lot higher than I thought. I freeze, I cant move, I *wont* move. The teacher tries to talk me down, then gets angry and throws a bucket of water at me. The water makes my grip slip and, overcome with utter terror, I fall (in rather cheesy slow-motion, my editing brain remarks.). The ground approaches, but I hear the cat sigh. "You do it like *this*", he says, and I suddenly understand how to make myself not here. I'm instantly so calm and confident about it that I wait until my back is fractions of an inch from the ground, enjoying the horrified look on teacher's face, knowing that he's seeing my fall in real time not the crap slowmo I am.
And then I'm in acid flashback land. I had made myself disappear, but forgot to specify where I would *reappear* and so I'm here. So is the cat. This is the cat's flashback, not mine, but I'm a guest and he wants to show me something.
We're on top of a hill looking at a small shrub, a couple of thousand years ago. Blood sprinkles down onto the shrub like rain, but the shrub catches the drops so they dont hit the ground. The shrub starts to grow, twist and change until it has become an orange kitten. Kitten looks up at the bleeding man nailed to the cross above him...
and I remember that all I have to do is specify where I want to be, because right now I'm still in between. I choose to be at home, in bed, at once. Though, thinking about it now, it would have been amusing to choose somewhere different and see how my consciousness dealt with it. Alaska, for instance.
There's a rush, the vision warps and pinches in the middle (again, SUCH a crap effect, my brain thinks. That's just a photoshop radial blur.) and I wake up suddenly in bed. Its 5am.
Ok, so this is my brain on lack of sleep. Yikes! starring a big ginger cat, industrial magic, and a cameo by none other than Jesus himself. Clearly I havent been meditating enough lately, my subconscious is overflowing...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-02 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-02 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-02 04:57 am (UTC)Do you think my subconscious is telling me to move house?
no subject
Date: 2005-08-02 06:56 am (UTC)There's nowt wrong with ginger...
Date: 2005-08-02 07:43 am (UTC)Btw have friends and their children (read over protected, spoilt, creepy son and seriously cool kick ass younger sister) staying at the moment, for a fucking WEEK - invited themselves. This is never a good thing. I'm having a sense of humour failure and M is on her way to another breakdown i think.
May be I should actually put this in my own blog, there's a novel thought...
no subject
Date: 2005-08-02 09:04 am (UTC)It means that you will feel better, and silly old Jesus won't turn up unexpectedly. He can be sotiresome.
I like how the cats were a major part of it though. Ok, I'm bias.