(no subject)

NB- if you're going to cut the lawn with a weed-wacker, dont take your shirt off. It may look very butch but the bits of woody grass and small stones REALLY HURT. Squealing like a girl totally spoils the illusion.
The lawn, however, is a lawn again. I can see OVER the grass now. The neighbours, although justifiably pissed at me for using a weed-wacker at 8am, seem relieved that they are no longer living next to a literal urban jungle.
Im still picking bits of grass from my teeth, and I suspect my arms are going to be really sore tomorrow.

Its a bit quiet in town this weekend- everyone's off shagging or visiting relatives it seems. Ah well I could do with a quiet weekend. Theres a Duran Duran concert tonight (supported by Robbie Williams- or have I got that the wrong way round?) and so town is going to be dead until about midnight. Might head in then and see whats happening... although Im getting too old for this midnight start stuff!!

Had intended to travel to Hamiltron tomorrow to visit my parents but I spent my travel money on a Warrant of Fitness for the car- a lovely piece of perverseness that the car is now totally legal and can be driven anywhere, except that I cant afford the petrol to put in it. Ah well these are the joys of having a strict budget I guess and I'll cope.

Quality not quantity revisited

- Im sorry
-Thats okay, you can be as sorry as you like, doesnt make any difference to me

If I had to put sex on a 1-10 scale there would be a few clear waypoints.
10- respectful, loving sex with a valued partner. Both (or more?) parties derive enjoyment from, and are utterly committed to, the other parties' pleasure.
5- good sex, where both parties enjoy themselves.
3- nasty sex, both parties are out to use the other for their own pleasure or to achieve revenge.
1- rape.

- I said no! no more!
- But its so nice, I know you love it.

I have a few good friends with whom i enjoy sex in the 8-10 range (sometimes edging towards an 11 with one particular couple) and to be perfectly honest I dont think ive ever had anything below a 5- even the most casual shag in the woods with a moderately unattractive and quite unskilled gentleman (dont ask) rated a 5.

- Come over and fuck me, i need to be fucked
- Okay but Im not in the mood to be fucked myself.
- Come over now, I want it.

Well all that just changed. I was just unlucky enough to participate in sex that easily ranks a 2. This was cruel and nasty sex with deep-seated issues of control and manipulation, domination and revenge. It wasnt pleasant. Not the slightest hint of respect or caring. "No" apparently meant "maybe not but keep trying" The attempted manipulation and domination was heartbreaking.

- Get your hand out of there, its sore.
- *shove* Yeah?

I was never in any danger, but the situation had me wound up to within a fraction of doing some serious damage to the bastard. That #####'s head is still spherical is a miracle of self-control, I was within a fraction of installing my fingers into his temple.

-You can trust me, I'll be gentle now
-Be gentle on someone else

Ah the dangers of casual sex. I hereby renounce casual sex as I define it- IE sex with someone I dont know well enough to respect. Sex IS special- perhaps not as sacred as the religious right would have us believe, but something so intimate and positive should not be used as a vehicle of control. I have the joyous privelige of occasionally participating in some of the best, most intimate sex Ive ever experienced, and while i'm single that's enough for me. Quality over quantity wins again.

Well now my mind feels clean, im going to go and boil my cock in sulphuric acid.