Mini Madness

Symptoms: low idle, idle speed ahd to be increased to stop it stalling, runs fine at speed but has an extreme 'hunt' at around 1500rpm. Yes, the Mini's being a pain. Nicholas was pretty much baffled by it- as was I for a while.

After a couple of beers at Kamo we disassembled the carburettor and cleaned it out. I love SU's- once the correct needle and spring have been chosen, theres no tuning to do. ever. Just keep them clean and topped up with damper oil, and keep an eye on that pesky butterfly spindle.

Anyway there wasnt a huge amount of crud in the carburettor (I was hoping for a sticking open float valve or loose butterfly but no such luck) but the car idled a little smoother- it still hunts at 1500rpm though! No apparent air leaks, running smooth as... too smoothly, in fact.

"Am I supposed to be using a valve seat additive?" Nicholas said.

Aha! Valve seat recession has closed the exhaust valve clearances up to the point that the valves arent sealing properly. Also explains why its running to quietly- no valve rattle. Now Nicholas needs to set his valve clearances and do a compression test- theres a high risk of a burnt valve.

Apart from that the Mini's in fine form- thrums along at 80mph and corners like a Mini should (any speed you like as long as you've got your foot flat to the floor...)

After diagnosing and marginally improving the Mini's lot, I popped round to the neighbours to see how their trip to India went- but found them pounding in consternation on their new Telecom DSL 'plug-and-play' setup. What Telecom, and all the installation guides failed to mention, was that they would have to log in to their modem and enter their username and password- something not even mentioned in the installation guide. Dont you hate it when you get to the end of a guide and it says "You're all done! enjoy surfing at DSL speeds" and its NOT WORKING...

Its all fixed now... It was an evening for fixing stuff.

Parents!!

Beware what you tell your kids in jest, they might not understand... a parent I know is having her bathroom renovated- they have no shower or bath, all thats left is the toilet. Her kids asked her "Whats going to happen when theres no toilet?" so she said "well, you're just going to have to go in the garden, like the builder". Miss Seven understood the joke and countered with "eww gross!" but apparently Master Five didnt. Because next morning... "Where's Bob?*"
And there he is, in the FRONT yard, taking a dump in the middle of the lawn, while commuters in the bus shelter across the road pretend not to notice...

*Names changed to protect the innocent. Until their 21st birthday speeches, that is...

Greasy Keyboard

Nicholas just turned up at my work- Mini's being a total bitch. At the lights today she would idle and nothing more- he worked for a minute or two just trying to get her to rev any higher than 1000rpm...

Out in the rain I go, head under the Mini's miniscule bonnet (that's 'hood' to the spetics). Rocker cover off, checking valve clearances. I just love the under-bonnet starter button I fitted years ago.

Valve clearances are fine. Disappointing.

So I pop the distributor cap off and Hey! whats this? condensation all over the inside... Because its now a tropical monsoon, water is splashing everywhere so I breathe an apology to Lucas, Lord of Darkness, and attack the distributor with silicon spray. With the moisture now banished, Minge starts instantly and idles smoothly.

I really, really hope thats all it was, because if it keeps hunting and spluttering then I'm out of ideas.

And now Im greasy up to my elbows, black fingers, gritty fur on my forearms, sitting at my $10,000 workstation and leaving greasy dirty smudges on everything. I stink of engine oil and petrol.

I'ts making me SO FUCKING HORNY...

Drooooool....

beastbriskett, are you writing a journal or porn? I mean, this is going to keep me up all night...