Nov. 3rd, 2004

growler_south: (saff)
I've decided that all girls are alien life-forms that actually live on a diet of wood pulp. Oh, they *can* eat other things, and often do just to appear normal, but its dried and pressed wood-pulp that really makes them tick. Specifically soft, fluffy, absorbent wood-pulp sheets in handy roll form, usually found in the privacy of a bathroom for uninterrupted dining enjoyment.

How else do you explain this timeline:
Midnight Monday, Growler notices we're out of toilet paper. so retrieves a single roll from his emergency stash and installs it in the bathroom. Doesnt actually use any. 11pm Tuesday Growler runs to bathroom to find that its ALL GONE...

3 people in my flat, times 23 hours, does NOT equal one 400-sheet bogroll. Presuming you use 4 sheets per application, I calculate there would have to be someone using the toilet every 14 minutes!

FOURTEEN MINUTES people. You could lick every gutter in Calcutta for a week and never experience that sort of frequency.

Andrew swears he only used the toilet once in that period, which leaves Rebecca, the TP munching alien.

And they say they dont have teeth...
growler_south: (Default)
Evil Madonna flashbacks there.

I booked my flights to Melbourne today!! the boys found the cheapest flights via House of Travel and it was a case of book today or possibly pay more later.

*excited Growler dance*

So I fly in on 30December on EK405, and leave on 4January on EK404.

Melbournites: please bear in mind that I'll be there with my husbears and want to spend some time with them, please coordinate your dance card requests. If 2 or more of you would like the company of my pleasure on one particular night then please consider that 2's a crowd but more is an orgy, and a far more efficient way to utilise my valuable evenings.

I also have to visit Mars Leathers to buy a new jacket and a pair of trousers. Or possibly just one trouser, given my predicted budget, having just mortgaged my soul to pay for the flights over there ;-)

In other news, I have bruised nipples today. *grin*

Go about your business, nothing to see here.

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