(no subject)

[growler_south]

I think the most important aspect of my weekend in Dallas was the emotional journey. There's only so much sitting on a plane you can do without having to think about things, and I really needed some 'me' time. In the last month or so there's been an underlying unease and a touch of despair in my life, a soft fallout from all the shit that went on earlier in the year. Baggage, in other words.

By the time I arrived in Dallas I had processed just about everything I needed to. Of course, there's resolving and then there's sweeping under the carpet, and oftentimes its hard to tell the difference. People are just too good at self-delusion. But to my surprise I found I had actually succeeded in banishing the demons- I was genuinely happy, calm despite being in unfamiliar surroundings, and completely open to the experience.

The upshot was that I had a great time, made some wonderful new friends, charmed the pants off an exceptionally handsome bear, and got to know Michael without being apprehensive about agendas (which, of course, there were none- Michael really is as upfront and honest as he says he is. I love having friends like him). Meeting Nick was unexpected but went fantastically- amazing what being in the right headspace will do.

The bittersweet stopover in SF confirmed my new headspace- I'm calmly open to anything, confident and relaxed and ready to get on with living again, whether life brings me happiness or pain.

I'm back. I'm really back.

Thankyou Michael.

Comments

[beastbriskett.livejournal.com]

Lets hear it for dropping baggage, being free and clear, and opening ourselves to joy.
Welcome back, dear Growler!
(HUGGG)

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Just you wait till I get my paws on you, handsome ;-)...