Much happier

[growler_south]

Well last night wasnt as dismal as it could have been- at the last moment, just before I was about to slouch home and crawl dejectedly into bed, I was abducted by two lovely guys who cooked me dinner, got me pissed, and poked me silly. And then lent me porn.

Yee ha!

Comments

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

Indeed I am. Many people make the mistake of assuming that between the way I look and the fact I like sweat and piss and greasy biker gear that I'm kinky. I'm nowhere near kinky. I even posted a while back about how utterly non-kinky I am, and some of the things I've noticed about some kinky people that scare me.

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

I missed that post, and I'd like to reply with an analogy that explains my experience of the kink spiral:

I like chocolate cake. I've had some mighty fine chocolate cake in my time- cake that makes me feel sick with sugary richness. Cake I wouldnt allow myself to eat every day, simply because my body wouldnt handle it.

None of that means that my Mom's chocolate cake tastes any worse- its just as good as ever, and in some ways its better- because its made with love.

Expanding my upper limit in no way raises my lower limit, and great sex is an emotional adventure, not purely a physical one.

Thread Hijack in progress - please remain seated and no one will get hurt...

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that for you it works. I've seen people for whom it doesn't, and I've had to put up with the evangelism of people's favorite kinks. There are a couple of people who I had to tell repeatedly that I don't like so much as one finger up my butt -- tongues and penises only, please -- and thus pursuing the red hanky thing made absolutely no sense in my case. Once it sank in that I was serious, I pretty much stopped hearing from those people.

Now one can argue that a person predisposed to certain odd kinds of behaviour could abuse almost any hobby or interest this way. My point is that a lot of people don't seem to think this happens as often as I've seen it happen in the area of sex, and kinky sex in particular.

Re: Thread Hijack in progress - please remain seated and no one will get hurt...

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

It seems to have a lot to do with selfishness- guys who are looking to get themselves off, to indulge their kinks and fantasies, will move on if you're not going to give them what they want.

Guys who are out to connect emotionally with someone and have a good time while theyre at it are more likely to be happy to go with the flow.

I think it depends where you go for your sex, or kinky sex in particular- in a suana, sex club, or leather bar you're going to run into lots of guys who are looking to satisfy their urges, whereas at more social venues and events you're going to come across guys who like to get to know you a bit first.

Of course this is from my experience, and explains why I dont like sex clubs any more- too many selfish guys who see you as an outlet for their kinks. And why I prefer a quiet bar or bears night- more relaxed, where theres a chance to get to know each other a bit first.

Re: Thread Hijack in progress - please remain seated and no one will get hurt...

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you're right to a point, but some of these people were guys I'd known for some time before they "discovered" whatever it was. I just found the focus on their new "hobbies" -- to the point of not wanting to associate with people who weren't into it -- really freaky.

Re: Thread Hijack in progress - please remain seated and no one will get hurt...

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Actually I wonder if I need to point out that last nights activities didnt actually involve anything except good old rootin'. No yellow, red or anything kinky. Maybe a bit of ball-yanking and tit chewing but thats about it. And it was *awesome*. I went to bed grinning like an idiot and with my mind reeling... Road cones *definitely* not essential for a good time...

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

No, you don't need to point that out; from what you've said, I just pictured you on your back getting fucked into a stupor while the other bear sat on your face... ;)

[lumberjackie-o.livejournal.com]

kink= mom and chocolate cake?!?!! you are just sick!!

Ah.

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Having just read the discussion which followed that post (your layout doesnt render correctly on my palmtop, i have to read you on my friends page or crank up the browser on my work PC) I can see that this topic has been thoroughly discussed.

I'm not one of those people who gets addicted to stuff. Most of my sex occurs in my head, and I dont require ever more intense physical sensations to have a good time.

Forgive the feeble analogy ;-)

Re: Ah.

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say "thoroughly discussed," actually, since it was largely an argument between me and someone else who refuses to acknowledge there being any validity to my real life observations.