The mystery of girls.

[growler_south]

I've decided that all girls are alien life-forms that actually live on a diet of wood pulp. Oh, they *can* eat other things, and often do just to appear normal, but its dried and pressed wood-pulp that really makes them tick. Specifically soft, fluffy, absorbent wood-pulp sheets in handy roll form, usually found in the privacy of a bathroom for uninterrupted dining enjoyment.

How else do you explain this timeline:
Midnight Monday, Growler notices we're out of toilet paper. so retrieves a single roll from his emergency stash and installs it in the bathroom. Doesnt actually use any. 11pm Tuesday Growler runs to bathroom to find that its ALL GONE...

3 people in my flat, times 23 hours, does NOT equal one 400-sheet bogroll. Presuming you use 4 sheets per application, I calculate there would have to be someone using the toilet every 14 minutes!

FOURTEEN MINUTES people. You could lick every gutter in Calcutta for a week and never experience that sort of frequency.

Andrew swears he only used the toilet once in that period, which leaves Rebecca, the TP munching alien.

And they say they dont have teeth...

Comments

[smellykaka.livejournal.com]

How else do you explain this timeline:

Somebody in the flat who wanks a lot?

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

Well that would be *me* but you may have a point there. Although you'd think I'd notice if Andrew suddenly developed forearms like Popeye...

[smellykaka.livejournal.com]

Uh, that would be foreARM, singular, right?

Unless he's so hung that he needs to use both hands. And if you know or find out that he is...DON'T TELL ME.

[growler-south.livejournal.com]

*grin* Oh how you tempt me.. but as requested, I will refrain from confirming that hypothesis.

Ok so I'm a bad, bad person. You knew that already.