The mystery of girls.

[growler_south]

I've decided that all girls are alien life-forms that actually live on a diet of wood pulp. Oh, they *can* eat other things, and often do just to appear normal, but its dried and pressed wood-pulp that really makes them tick. Specifically soft, fluffy, absorbent wood-pulp sheets in handy roll form, usually found in the privacy of a bathroom for uninterrupted dining enjoyment.

How else do you explain this timeline:
Midnight Monday, Growler notices we're out of toilet paper. so retrieves a single roll from his emergency stash and installs it in the bathroom. Doesnt actually use any. 11pm Tuesday Growler runs to bathroom to find that its ALL GONE...

3 people in my flat, times 23 hours, does NOT equal one 400-sheet bogroll. Presuming you use 4 sheets per application, I calculate there would have to be someone using the toilet every 14 minutes!

FOURTEEN MINUTES people. You could lick every gutter in Calcutta for a week and never experience that sort of frequency.

Andrew swears he only used the toilet once in that period, which leaves Rebecca, the TP munching alien.

And they say they dont have teeth...

Comments

[pa747sp.livejournal.com]

I can confirm your findings, docotor. Whilst gs sister was staying with us, a 6-pack of toilet paper appered on every weekly shopping list. Prior to her gracing us with her presence, it was lucky to get on the list on a monthly basis. Where does it all go?