Ponders (condensed)

Today I'm pondering the way I approach friendship and love. At the core of the issue is that I tend to go further with my friendships than many would feel comfortable with: I am fairly polyamorous. For the most part, its a good thing. I'm surrounded by friends who love me back, I enjoy giving and enriching my friends lives, and it makes my life richer too.

The downside is that I can give too much, spread myself too thinly, leading to disappointment when I'm not around or too busy with others. The other issue is guys mistaking my loving friendship for the love relationships are made of. It can be hard to say "I love you to bits, I want you bring you joy, I want to share so much with you, but no more than I do with all my friends"

Perhaps this explains why I feel most comfortable having affectionate friendships with guys who are in a relationship already: theres a bit of a barrier there, a bit of reassurance that theyre already taken and wont be following me around like puppydogs. (dont get that confused with the relationship I had with Rick and Mo though- what started out as a friendship rapidly escalated into full-blown love in that case, and though its ending is complex I dont regret a single decision.)

Given all that, I think the next issue to look at is how the way I comport myself relates to the relationships and friends I attract. Am I behaving in a way that helps my cause or hinders it?

Gaydar's up.

My new Gaydar profile (worksafe) is up. Perhaps a little ambitious at this stage, and doesnt quite gel with the public perception of me (for some reason I have a reputation as a slut and anybodies, now fancy that!! LOL) but its true to the way I feel and have felt for a while. And, truth be told, its the way I've been behaving lately too: even in Sydney, though I was flirting with EVERYONE, I only slept with people who proved they had beautiful souls...

About me:
Deeply loving and loyal to my friends, I tend towards polyamoury and sometimes blur the boundaries between friendship and love, which can be complicated, but rewarding. I strive to better myself, and quietly hold unconventional views on spirituality and the way the world works.
I work with computers for money and cars for fun. Most evenings you`ll find me out with friends, and if I`m not out then I`m online chatting.

Looking for:
I`m physically attracted to big, beefy guys, but a lack of personality, love and mutual respect will turn me right off. I tend not to enjoy casual, uncaring sex- I`m growing as a sexual being and have moved past the physical act being the be-all and end-all of sex. The sort of thing that I enjoy now involves trust and respect and synergy, a mutual exploration of roles and desires. If that confuses you then thanks for reading this far and have a nice day ;-)
Not specifically looking for a relationship: when its ready it will happen, and until then the love I get from my friends is plenty.
If you`re an interesting and caring guy and can win my heart then lets talk :-)

Theres a couple of new pics too, just for the hell of it, and I'll try and get a couple more just to remove the 'newbie' look...